JWH Series, Personal Information, Freedom Celebration

These pages, most of which were written by Jerry after his accident and prior to his death, are his view into what happened and what he could do about it.

This is a very private view into the life of a young man who lived that life until the day he went to a better place.

Jerry was ceremoniously interred in his beloved garden of Faith, Hope and Love on July 7, 2001. A fitting memorial to honor his memory is being designed and will be placed in Jerry's Garden when completed. The ceremony of that placement will also be posted to his website for all to see.

Display

Jerry joined the celebration and revisited family and friends. My favorite picture with Jerry the baby, as well as Jerry in his wheelchair and although not visible due to glare, a picture of him fishing is on opposite sides of his remains.

A beautiful cross with the Blessed Mother and Child now protect Jerry.

Earthly Shackle

Jerry's wheelchair, his earthly shackle which served him well, provides his family and friends a reminder that Jerry now has no limitations. HE IS FREE!

The ceremonial urn used in the celebration of his freedom, occupies the space Jerry used for six years.

Gathering A number of Jerry's friends and family await the start of Jerry's freedom celebration, a day to celebrate the release of Jerry from his earthly pain and suffering. His passing over the bridge of troubled waters to his new life, free from any earthly restraints. HE IS FREE!

Family Seated

Jerry's immediate family, mother, brothers, nieces and nephews have been seated.

The celebration of Jerry's passing from his earthly life to his new life will now begin.

Invocation

The hardest thing I will ever have to do...conduct the service for my son.

Merciful Jesus please extend your loving and caring hands over this beautiful setting as we grieve. Please ease our pain at the loss of our son, brother, uncle, relative and friend and provide comfort to all those present here today knowing that Jerry is with you, joining his family who have gone before him, we ask this in your name. Amen.

		Opening Our loss has been very hard on the family and me personally, so if I stumble, please understand...the shedding of tears is part of the grieving process.

In trying times, families and friends just seem to pull together, rightfully so, to comfort one another. Our extended Haney Family and friends certainly have come forward to ease my family's grief in our time of need. To each of you, please accept my heartfelt gratitude and thanks for being here for us today.

Most everyone knew Jerry as a happy go lucky kid who never met a stranger. I must admit he comes by it honest. His grandmother, Mattie Blanche Haney, better known to the family as �mam-maw,� never met a stranger either. She, as well as her grandson Jerry, were full of life, always a smile and a quick wit.

As you recall, Jerry suffered a severe injury on June 20, 1995 as a result of a trampoline accident that left him a quadriplegic. Through the pain and agony of those six (6) years Jerry grew into quite a young man any Family could be proud of.

The establishment of his website (www.jerryhaney.com), chronicling his life with spinal cord injury, was close to Jerry�s heart. He received thousands of emails from families all over the world requesting his help with spinal cord answers for their loved ones. What a great joy to Jerry�to help others deal with such a severe injury. I will never forget the very first email; a mother whose 5 year old had been severely injured as a result of truck running over her, just imagine if you will, a child who required a ventilator to help her take a breath�Jerry was so touched by that email, his desire to help others just accelerated�we expanded and expanded his site, the emails poured in for help and Jerry was suddenly given a chance to help others with less time to feel his own pain and suffering.

The Garden where we stand today to remember Jerry was and is planned to bring others from hospitals, rehabilitation centers and nursing homes who might be handicapped, elderly or shut-ins, to �smell the roses� so to speak, where that person can reach out and �touch� the plants here now, and the future, as well as chat with Jerry and his love of conversation.

Jerry was to conduct the �tours,� if I may use that term, as well as broadcast live pictures from the pavilion to his website for others to enjoy. Little did I know, that this then would now become Jerry�s Memorial Garden, his final resting place, Jerry has now come home to watch over and be with his family.

Jerry, when striking out on his own, taking that first step to independence, finding and moving to his apartment was a time of great apprehension and worry for his parents. We just weren�t sure he was ready, but he was. He looked forward to his brother Kevin and the nieces he adored, coming over and �camping out.� We�ll hear about that shortly. He was so happy in his own place, his own circle of friends. He lived in the same complex as his brother Sean and wife Marie. Those two were something to see and experience. What started out as caregiver and patient, quickly developed into a great and caring friendship for each other. If I could have found a way to have �captured� that friendship between those two and spread that sincerity across the world, peace and love of one another, regardless of color, nationality or belief would exist now in lieu of the typical hatred and distrust of our fellow man.

Our instincts are to hold on despite all the odds, and the following, provided by a friend of Jerry�s, pretty well sums up his family�s feelings: Forgive our reluctance of your release, For you to seek your deserved peace.

To sum up my personal feelings, as well as that of my family for Jerry: There were plenty of hours, just not enough days.

My granddaughter Stephanie, my son Kevin's daughter would like to read a short story about her "camping" out at Uncle Jerry's.

Stephanie, please come up and let us share your story. To read Stephanie's story...

Stephanie Stephanie presents her story about a pleasant memory with her uncle Jerry. How she, Michelle and Dad (Kevin) "camped" out at uncle Jerry's on some weekends...just having fun, eating and singing with and for her uncle Jerry.

My son Troy, Jerry's brother, would like to read a poem he composed especially for his brother, Jerry.

Troy, please come up and share your thoughts about your brother. To read Troy's poem to his brother...

Troy

A beautiful poem written especially for his brother Jerry. Very moving tribute to and on behalf of his brother. As a father, I am indeed blessed to have my children love and respect each other as well as their parents.

I apologize for the poor picture. I am working to correct it.

I would like to remind each person present here today of the frailty of life and the importance of expressing affection to your loved ones without hesitation, with that in mind, I would like to eulogize my son with this poem titled simply, Jerry.

Dad To express your inner feelings about your son who has just passed away is extremely hard to do, but to deliver that poem and maintain composure for those in attendance was even harder than conducting the service.

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for His name�s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me; Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Amen.

O Gentlest Heart of Jesus, ever present in the Blessed Sacrament, ever consumed with burning love for the poor captive souls in Purgatory, have mercy on the soul of Thy servant, Jerry.

Be not severe in Thy judgment but let some drops of Thy precious Blood fall upon him, and do Thou O merciful Savior send Thy Angels to conduct him to a place of refreshment, light and peace.

Jerry, May the Martyrs receive thee at thy coming and take thee to the Holy City�

Jerry, May the Choirs of Angels receive thee and mayest thou have rest everlasting.

May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God, Rest in Peace. Amen.

Our Father Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name; Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Blessings

As our families mourn the loss of Jerry, I offer these blessings of comfort in the hope they will ease our grief knowing that Jerry is now in a better place, free from his earthly shackles and pain forever more.

Almighty God, Father of mercies and giver of all comfort, look with pity on the sorrows of your afflicted servants. Remember them; nourish them with patience; comfort them with a sense of your goodness. Lift up their countenance as they cast their cares on you, so that they may know the genuine strength and consolation of your love. Amen.

Give an abundance of faith and courage to all who mourn, that they may have the required strength to face the days ahead with stead�fastness and patience, not sorrowing without hope, but in thankful remembrance of your great goodness and love in past years and a sure expectation of a joyful reunion with those they love. Amen.

Blessed are you, Lord God, ruler of all creation. We praise you for the gifts you have bestowed upon us. Help us in this time of sorrow and distress. Strengthen us, for we entrust our lives and all that we do into your hands, our heavenly Father. Amen.

O God our Father, bind our families together. Banish anger and destroy bitterness within them; nourish forgiveness among them and develop a strong sense of peace. Bestow upon parents such wisdom and patience that they may greatly exercise the spirit of genuine Christ-like love and bring forth from their children their greatest virtues and the best that is in them. Instill in their children self-respect and right ideals, so that they may obey their parents and grow in their love and the joy of their companionship. Open ears to hear the truth another speaks; open eyes to see the reality beneath another�s appearance, and make family affection reflect the genuine sign of Christ�s love for all mankind. Amen.

Sprinkling of the Cremains

May this holy water and Thy Precious Blood O Lord wipe away all the sins of Thy servant Jerry.

As our brother, Jerry has died with the Lord, so may he live with him in glory. Amen.

In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother Jerry, and we commit his earthly remains to this final resting place; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

The Lord bless him and keep him, the Lord makes his face to shine upon him and be gracious to him, the Lord lift up his countenance upon him and give him peace. Amen.

Urn Placement

Sean, Jerry's best buddy, caregiver and my newest son...would you please come up, receive Jerry's ceremonial Urn from his earthly shackle, his wheelchair...and place it carefully in the center of the bridge, his bridge over troubled waters.

Old Life Farewell

Should any of my sons care to join their Father, step forward and help your brother take his next step to his new life by bidding goodbye to his earthly life in a manner he would enjoy.

My sons, join your Father in pouring Jerry's favorite refreshment over his ceremonial urn thereby providing his last beer as we bid him goodbye to this earthly life.

May the peace of the Lord be with you always my beloved son. We love you!

Jerry Crosses His Bridge

Sean would you please remove Jerry's ceremonial Urn from the bridge, his bridge over troubled waters, escorted by your brothers, carry your friend and brother to his final resting place.

Jerry has now left his earthly life and restraints...he is free!

Urn Final Placement

Jerry's ceremonial urn has now arrived at his final resting place. He has completed the journey from his earthly life to a better place. Free to be with his family there and watch over his family here.

May the peace of the Lord be with you always my beloved son. We love you!

I want to start the celebration of Jerry's new life with the sharing of a few stories about Jerry...special to me, a memory as my grand-daughter says.

Jerry returning home tipsy was stopped by the local traffic cop, my grand-daughter Michelle, who informed her uncle Jerry that he was too drunk to drive. With that, Michelle climbs up on her uncle Jerry's lap and precedes to "drive" his wheelchair down the drive, which is not paved, and hits a couple of rocks flipping the wheelchair over, knocking her uncle out although he was still in the wheelchair, thanks to his "seat belts." Michelle promptly screams bloody murder as she runs into the house looking for help. Everyone runs outside to check on Jerry's condition...as he's coming to, we hear Jerry make a typical comment: "Michelle may need a little more driver training."

My Mother, affectionately named "Mam-Maw, simply adored her grandson Jerry. Part of my Sunday was picking up my beloved Mother and bringing her out to visit Jerry...Yes, she visited with everyone. She always had with her, as she called it, a "care package" for her grandson Jerry. Now one would typically perceive a "care package" might consist of hygiene products or some form of toiletries...NO, not this one. It was her grandson's "money." This "money" consisted of cookies, candy, gum and other items, some of which Jerry indulged in, but most were for him to "pay" his "help" for services rendered. A fun thing between Uncle Jerry and his live-in "care-givers," consisting of his nephew David, his nieces, Michelle and Stephanie. Let me give you a small example of what I mean.

Jerry wanted someone to wash his hair as I recall. Michelle was available at the time, so Uncle Jerry started his "negotiations" with his niece Michelle. Jerry was monitored by closed circuit TV with sound, and a monitor by his bed in case he needed help, so the family heard the "big business deal" taking place and believe me it was like labor and management going at it. Uncle Jerry started the negotiations with some Oreo cookies but apparently Michelle needed more "money" for her services, so the counter offer was the Oreo cookies plus a snicker bar...Jerry only had one snicker bar and he wanted it, so the "haggling" really got rough. In fact, Michelle decided the "fee" wasn't enough and walked out of her Uncle Jerry's room, closing the door behind her. I'm sure you get the idea and yes, the two parties got together on the "fee" and Uncle Jerry got his hair washed and dried and Michelle got what she wanted. It was like that all the time with Jerry and his beloved "care-givers," what a pleasure to experience. Uncle Jerry knew right away what "tough love" was and loved every minute of it.

You will not believe what I'm going to say, but every word of this memory is true.

After arriving home with Jerry, removing him from my vehicle and placing him in his then manual wheelchair, he heard his brother Kevin and the kids, Michelle and Stephanie laughing and raising hell behind the garage, so we joined them.

Seems Kevin had "rigged up" a "slide wire" from the kid's tree house, some 20' up in the air, to one of the larger trees on the property, a horizontal distance of about 100'.

Imagine my dismay at seeing that...here I am bringing a quadriplegic son home after his injury and see one of my other son's and grand-daughters "sliding" down the wire and being caught before they hit the tree at the bottom. Now for the crazy part: Jerry sees this and breaks out in uncontrollable laughter, and wants to join in. We, yes me included, rigged up a harness for him and his wheelchair, strapped him in tight, and up he goes for his turn down the slide. YES, I know what's going through your mind...must be crazy! Jerry loved his multiple rides so much, all he hollered was, "I love this family, everybody's crazy, I love this family!"

We took movies of that occasion and can not hold back the laughter when viewing it.

A neighbor from down the street shared his recollection of Jerry always stopping by his house for a "cool drink;" any excuse to see his lovely daughter, he explained.

A supervisor from the organization that provided Jerry with his care-giver's and additional needs, spoke of love for "her Jerry!" She, as well as most people at the service for Jerry, were quite emotional at the loss of this crazy guy, my son Jerry.

We will miss Jerry being in our daily lives but take consolation in the fact, he is no longer restrained by his earthly shackles...he is completely free to be with his family there and watch over his family here.

He touched an awful lot of people in his short stay on this earth, and as his Father, I could not be more proud of Jerry...the work Jerry he did under such trying circumstances was a pleasure to behold.

To those of you who have taken the time to read this memorial service for Jerry; on behalf of ALL the Haney Family, please accept our sincere THANKS for CARING.

YOUR SMILING FACE WILL BE OUR FONDEST MEMORY. REST IN PEACE JERRY, YOU CERTAINLY EARNED IT!